How to Give Everyone the Impression You're Rich (Even though you're flat broke)

by Michelle

Do you like to talk the talk but have trouble convincing others you walk the walk?

Do you brag about your net worth when the truth is, you haven’t two dimes to rub together?

Don’t despair. No one has to know you’re flat broke.

Here are some ways to give the illusion of having money, when you may really just be a step above living in a double wide.

  1. Buy all your designer clothes secondhand on Ebay, at consignment stores, thrift shops or through freecycle. No one has to know you’re wearing WalMart underwear underneath.
  2. Have several credit cards but don’t use them. Save them for nights out with the friends so you can whip out your card at the end of the night and say, "I’ll get this" like it’s no big deal.
  3. When vacation time comes around, tell everyone you’re going off on your own to a luxury resort in  Belize or San Tropez. Instead, go camping.
  4. Buy a third hand Mercedes or Bentley. Fix it up – at least on the outside because appearances are what counts.
  5. Make friends with someone who drives a limo. Every now and then have him pick you up and drive you around. Not much, just enough to impress the neighbors.
  6. Look for a house near an upscale area like Princeton or Cambridge. Buy a house about ten minutes away – enough so the prices are cheaper but you can still say "Oh yes, I live in Princeton" or "I live just outside of town where it’s not so crowded."
  7. Go to the hottest clubs and position yourself so you’re photographed walking next to celebrities and socialites. You don’t actually have to go in.
  8. When staying in Las Vegas or New York City, stay at a crappy motel but make sure you’re seen reading newspapers in upscale hotel lobbies.
  9. Visit upscale hotel bars and nurse one drink the entire night. Unless some one you want to impress comes by, then you’re buying.
  10. Have a friend who works in a financial institution call you often at work. "Hello? This is Michael from Merrill Lynch calling, may I speak to Harold?"
  11. Save your money and buy tickets for charity events, art auctions and polo matches.
  12. Never brag. It’s a mystery how you came by your money.
  13. Learn how to be creative about your career. For instance, if you drive a sanitation truck, say you’re "in the carting industry" and if you clean hotel rooms say you’re in the "hotel hospitality industry."
  14. If it comes to a point where your rich friends want you to spend money you don’t have, tell them you can’t this week because you’re paying off back taxes. They’ll understand.
  15. If you haven’t a clue what you’re talking about, use words such as "whimsical" or "amusing." "This wine has the most amusing oak barrel flavors…" or "Ah yes, that reminds me of the time I stayed in the most amusing little village in…."