25 Things You Never Knew You Could Buy Online

by Michelle

panda chair

Shopping for the person who has everything?  Here are a few unique gifts for your perusal. They make great wedding gifts too!

  1. A Naked Suit – For a frat guy Halloween party near you.
  2. A baby toupee - Because some people want their kids to get picked on at an early age.
  3. A coffin - Costco really does sell everything.
  4. Owl puke. No. Really.
  5. Elk Carcass – The price is based on 225 pound elk carcass weight.
  6. Dr. John’s Favorite Pee Pee - Because you never know when a random drug test might happen.
  7. A UFO detector - Tinfoil hat sold separately.
  8. A remote control fart machine – You too can be the life of the party.
  9. A Hilary Clinton nutcracker - Normally I’d say how sexist this object is but I can’t stop laughing.
  10. A remote control beer pager - Never lose your beer again.
  11. Wolf Urine - I don’t want to know.
  12. A tank – Your neighbor with the Hummer will be so jealous.
  13. A chicken nugget shaped like George Washington -I ask you, who wouldn’t want one of those?
  14. A mouse shaped lint ball - To keep all those dust bunnies under your bed company.
  15. Eyeball Jars - You have to put them somewhere.
  16. A pink upholstered vagina couch – No honey. You may not have one.
  17. A box of doll heads -Creepy.
  18. A cow pie mouse pad - Why. Just….why?
  19. A Skipper doll with two left feet - Poor Skipper. Just another reason to feel inferior to Barbie.
  20. A road kill cookbook – Good, down home trailer cooking.
  21. Fresh, whole rabbit - Speaking of roadkill…
  22. Chocolate dipped pork rinds – The perfect desert after your roadkill stew.
  23. George Bush paper dolls - I’d like to run them through my paper shredder.
  24. A log with a knot hole shaped like Elvis – The king is gone, but he’s not forgotten.
  25. A panda chair – There are no words.



I’ve heard of/seen numbers 8 & 9, but the rest? Oh, wow.

Jacques richer

#11 is actually useful. It’s used by organic gardeners to keep deer out of the garden by mimicking the smell of a predator. Most of the rest are just funny.


Anyone want to sponsor me for the sushi chair? See #25. It looks impossible to clean, but dang comfy.

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